Editor’s note: Sheikh Aminu Ibrahim Daurawa is the Commander General of Kano State Hisbah Board, and marriage counselor. He posted this advisory on Facebook. Fateema B. Bello translated it from Hausa to English
Today we live in a time when some people see divorce as the easiest solution to every problem that arises between couples. Yet if you look at it closely, you will find that in most cases divorce is more costly than marriage.
It is not just in monetary terms that divorce is more costly than marriage. It is also costly to the heart, costly to child upbringing, costly to the family, and costly to society as a whole.
How is divorce more costly than marriage?
1. Cost to the heart
Divorce leaves pain for the husband, wife and children. Often this pain takes years to heal.
2. Cost to child upbringing
Children are the ones who suffer most when parents separate. Some lose care, love and complete upbringing.
3. Cost in money
Money is spent on court cases, starting a new life, taking care of children and other needs that follow after separation.
4. Cost to relationships
Divorce can break up families, create hatred between relatives, and destroy good relationships.
5. Cost to dignity
At times people expose each other’s secrets and make accusations that attack dignity, which Islam forbids.
6. Cost of worry
Increased anxiety, loneliness, lack of peace of mind and other life problems often follow divorce.
Solutions before reaching divorce
- Fear Allah in your marriage.
- Be patient with one another.
- Communicate often and with wisdom.
- Practice forgiveness and overlook minor mistakes.
- Seek reconciliation through family elders or scholars if the problem gets serious.
- Pray a lot, for Allah is the One who mends hearts.
Allah the Most High says:
“And if they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring about agreement between them.” [An-Nisa: 35]
The Prophet (ﷺ) also taught us the importance of treating family well and upholding trust.
Not every marriage can continue, because Islam permits divorce if married life cannot be repaired. But it should not be rushed. Ways of reconciliation should be tried first.
Therefore, let us educate people that:
Marriage requires patience, but divorce can cause losses that are not easy to repair. So we should make every effort to fix the marriage before reaching separation.
May Allah unite the hearts of couples, put blessings in Muslim homes, and protect us from family conflicts. Āmīn.
